three months.

Last night, while out to dinner with my friends, a notification popped up on my phone. It read, "3 months to Deployment". 

Oh.

I remember when Eric first told me about this deployment. It was in Corvallis; September 2012. It was the first home football game of the season at OSU; A wonderful, warm day spent with my closest friends. After the game, in the crowded living room of Abby & Dallas' apartment, as everyone else drunkenly reviewed the events of the game, drank beers, and discussed the night's future events, Eric blurted to me: "So, I'm going to Afghanistan."

Not the most eloquent thing he's ever said, but also, how can you eloquently tell your girlfriend you're going to war?

I said nothing for a few moments, and just let myself feel my stomach plummet to the futon we were sitting on. The best thing I could think to do was get up, walk outside, and take two deep breaths before bursting into tears. Eric wasn't far behind me, and it wasn't long before he was holding me as I sobbed into his neck. My worst fear had come true. As far as I was concerned, the trip was over. We packed up, told everyone we were heading out of town early, and had a silent drive back to Beaverton.

Here we are, almost a year and a half later, and a simple notification on my phone floors me the same way that day in Corvallis floored me. The sting hasn't dulled. I haven't gotten any better at handling this, and time is ticking. 

These past 17 months have been pretty cyclical. I start out with a breakdown. A big, emotional, tearful purge that leaves me feeling relieved, but doesn't fix anything. Turns out, crying doesn't stop a war. 

Next, I feel a false, somewhat forced sense of refreshment. All of a sudden, I'm ready to take this challenge on head-first. The inner dialogue goes something like-- "So many people have been through this before, right? Right! People with WAY more challenges than Eric and I have; Couples who are pregnant, families with special needs children. This is nothing. This is fortunate. We can do this."

That mindset lasts for a little while. But slowly, my conviction gets chipped away, little by little. It happens when going to a couple's event alone. Then upon realizing we've never spent a Valentine's Day together, and won't for another two years. Even more when I remember he won't be able to be a groomsman in the Hogan wedding. And even more when I see the news stories of locals that won't be coming back home. The worst is seeing other people getting dismissed from this deployment while Eric stays on the hook. There are daily, hourly reminders that these 12 months are approaching, and approaching hard.

The cycle comes to its crescendo when I get the final reminder I can take. Last night, it was that stupid notification on my phone. 

I guess there's no real point to this story, other than: I'm scared. I'm scared because it's new, and it's unknown, and it's a big deal. The only comfort I can provide myself is the reminder that it will end. Eventually, it will end. 

Eric, I apologize for not being better at this. I apologize for putting pressure on you to comfort me when you're the one that needs comfort the most. I'm sorry that I add to the stress, and I'm sorry that my logic is overpowered by my emotions.

One more week until I get to pick him up from the Portland airport. In one week, the six weeks will be over. These six weeks will be the longest we've been apart, and I am hoping that I somehow picked up on expert military girlfriend methods on how to be sane while your significant other is away. If I did, I'm most definitely unaware of it.

But, before May 20th 2014, is the 81 days we get before it. I think they will be the sweetest 81 days we've had yet.

love, love, love.

'Tis the season of love! The day so many people have been waiting for (and the day so many people have been waiting to pass) has come and gone. I have to admit, even I have very mixed feelings about Valentine's Day. The negative feelings mostly stem from being visually assaulted with cheap stuffed animals, hundreds of balloons, and heart-shaped everything every time I go into a grocery store after January 1st. OR being bombarded with advertisements online and over the radio about anything and everything you "should" get your valentine. Thank goodness that's over.

However, the positive feelings very much outweigh the negative ones. For my family, Valentine's day has been a fun one for as long as I can remember. My parents always made it special for Maddie and I with special love-themed breakfasts, sweet treats, pretty much anything they could dream up to make us feel special on the day of love. So, I've grown up knowing that Valentine's Day is not a day that hinges on whether or not you have a significant other, but is a day to remind any and all of those that you love just how special they are to you.

This year was no different! I woke up to the group text that some of my closest friends are in; Just typical mushy-gushy-girly stuff that we pretty much say to each other every day anyway. They always know how to start my day off right! I also had cards to open over breakfast from my mom, dad, and grandpa. Cards for myself, Eric AND Perry. Yes, Perry gets cards. Of course, I read it aloud to her. I was so humbled and spoiled once again by the love and gifts they sent our way.

Then, after heading off to work my boss (and friend) treated Molly (my coworker, and friend) and I to Starbucks, which was awesome. Nothing says co-worker-ly love like coffee in the morning! About halfway through the work day, a flower delivery came in. It was the most gorgeous bouquet I'd ever seen, and I have to admit that I was a little jealous when a coworker directed the delivery lady to put the bouquet on Molly's desk. Then someone else jumped in and went, "No, Veronica's desk is right there", and pointed to me. I was SO EXCITED that these were my flowers! I opened up the card, and saw the sweetest note from none other than Eric Robert. Even when he's away in another state and working 16+ hours every day, he still manages to find a way to make me feel loved from afar. I'm a lucky lady.


Work wrapped up early, and Molly, Emily (another coworker and friend) and I headed to the Pearl District for some happy hour. Molly is pet/house sitting for a friend, and we were able to get a few glasses of wine in at this incredible condo overlooking the river and city. Lots of girl talk, snacking, and laughing. Grimm was filming in the condo lobby, so we even got to watch a scene or two as they were filming it.

This picture doesn't do the view justice!

Last stop, Mama's house. My mom has been my Valentine date two years in a row now, and I am so glad we were able to spend it together. Her, Perry and I ate dinner and cuddled on the couch talking late into the night.

Now, Valentine's day is also special because it's also the birthday of one of my closest friends. On Saturday, I was so excited to be able to celebrate my dearest Mad Mad. Her family hosted a group of us for a fancy little dinner. Homemade chips and enchiladas with a couple of coronas? Pretty amazing. Throw in time with close friends, and that's an ideal Saturday night right there. Eric even got to FaceTime in to say "happy birthday" himself! I'm so glad I got to celebrate this wonderful friend of mine, love you Mad!

How cute is this set up?!

As the weekend wraps up, I can't help but feel warm and fuzzy knowing that so much love surrounds me. I'm also thrilled to realize that the countdown to Eric coming home is feeling much smaller. Less than 2 weeks to go! I feel like the best way to wrap up this little entry is to quote Eric himself. Last year, he wrote me a note for Valentine's day I've never forgotten. The man has quite the way with words.

On this silly day, a young man was reminded by someone very close and special to him that this is not just quite a silly day. Rather, this day is unlike any other, in that it should be a silly day in which two people can celebrate all the love surrounding them. It is an acknowledgement of the very human condition of which no other people on this planet will experience the same way as they. It is a silly day which these two can look upon the amount of dedication, resilience, respect and memories that have equally poured forth from their respective minds, hearts and bodies in pursuit of companionship unrivaled. In fact, this is no silly day, by the sound of it, it is rather extraordinary! It is a day two can pay tribute to the odds, barriers, choices and miracles that have led them to one another.




How true that is. I hope everyone had the chance to give and receive lots of love this Valentine's day, and every day thereafter.

Absolutely love my new kitchen decor ;)

My perfect Valentine's Day dates.

snowed in.

If you're an Oregonian, you probably experienced the crazy Snow-pocalypse of 2014 this weekend! I'm not used to seeing much extreme weather here in Oregon, but this weekend was definitely one for the books.

Thursday started normal as can be, until noon brought the flurries. I have lived in Ohio, Utah, and Idaho, where it was much more common to see feet upon feet of snow. So, I have to admit, seeing the reaction that this little dusting brought made me chuckle. I wondered how anyone could be that worried about a little snow. However, I didn't complain when I was sent home from work at the ripe hour of 1pm. I scooped up Perry Pup from day care, and headed home for some much appreciated down time.

Waking up on Friday morning was a surprise, though. My little apartment in Wilsonville had at least 5 inches! The excitement of being able to work from home was counteracted by the disappointment of being home-bound. I had totally underestimated how bad this storm would be, and failed to get food to stock my already-empty shelves. It was a resourceful weekend of meals, to say the least.

Buried ankles in my driveway.

The weekend was filled with down time with the pup. Since we weren't able to drive anywhere, we put in HOURS of reading, Netflix, Pinterest, munching, playing in the snow, and relaxing. Perry was so happy not to be in her crate for 4 days straight, and we snuggled as much as possible the whole time. We even got a walk in to Starbucks! Caramel Flan Latte for me, Puppachino for Perry (It's just a little whipped cream in a cup, but it's adorable. I encourage all dog owners to try ordering one). Those close to me know that I love quiet, cozy time, so it was fair to say this weekend was a happy one for me. My one complaint: I missed Eric. A snowed-in weekend together is something we'd love to have, but we'll have to wait for the next time around.

Always reading over my shoulder.

She's officially taken Eric's side of the bed!

First snow experience :)

Speaking of, 24 days down for McHomie in Arkansas. Only 18 left! We're staying sane with FaceTime, Snapchat, and as many phone calls and texts as we can squeeze in. He's doing AWESOME at Sniper School, despite the lack of sleep and good food. They seriously don't feed him. It will be "Operation: Fatten Eric Up" when he returns.

Thank goodness for technology.

This morning I was pretty excited to get back to work. I do love lazy time, probably more than the average person, but even I have a limit. Plus, I was glad to have an excuse to change out of my sweats and wash my hair. Even with the 1-hour late start, this morning brought a sloppy, slushy mess of a commute. I only live a mile from work, but I slipped and slid the whole way. Scraping the 7 inches of icy slush from my windshield wasn't too fun either (only took me 20 minutes). I guess the snow was fun at first, but it has officially worn out its welcome.

Scraping snow off of my car. Took a good long while.

Hope you all had fun taking advantage of the weather! Let's hope it happens again... but not for a long while ;)

hello.

Hello, and welcome!

After debating for quite some time on whether or not I wanted to start a blog, I finally settled on yes. Yes, because it's a great way to mass-update everyone on life's events, and I love reading the blogs of my other friends. So, here I am giving it a go.

As of this moment, my life revolves primarily around two things. The first being the Doodle that my boyfriend Eric and I love and own. The second, the service that Eric volunteers to the Oregon National Guard. Thus, "doodle days & dog tags".

Currently, home is Wilsonville, Oregon. After getting a job at a Home Health company (that I love), it was decided that a short commute was high on the priority list, and I didn't like my old apartment anyway. It was time to leave the mold, and get away from the crazy Beaverton traffic. The fact my parent's house is a short drive away was also an added bonus.

The living room, bathroom, bedroom, walk-in-closet (!!!), dining room, and Perry modeling the front door. 

Right now, life is somewhat of a waiting game. Eric is set to deploy to Afghanistan on May 20th. 107 days from today. All I want to do is soak up every last minute with him before he leaves, but he is currently in Arkansas for Sniper School. For lack of better words, this school he is at is a big deal. The most promising snipers around the country are picked to attend this intensive 6-week course. Many get sent home throughout, but the best stay and graduate. He gets back in 25 days (getting closer!)

The Sniper Man himself in action. (At a June Training)

This gives us 81 days. 81 days from the time he comes back a certified-expert-sniper (probably not the official title), to the time the army takes him from me again. Needless to say, I'm kind of freaking out. I've never had much exposure to the military before Eric, and I'm not really sure how this all goes. Don't get me wrong-- I'm so proud of him and couldn't be more happy to be with a man of such courage and honor, but we're about to plunge into a year of the great unknown. A year of wondering whether he's safe, when I can talk to him next, when will he come home ... the list goes on. I am a firm believer that getting through this will only make us stronger, so we're ready to tackle this year and get through it. But, before that, 81 days of togetherness. I hope they pass by as slowly as time will allow.

Happy faces this Winter.

So there you have it, the start of dd&dt. Feel free to check back for more updates!