the small things.

It's been a little over two weeks since my time in Texas. Two weeks down, somewhere between 40-45 to go.

Gulp.

It's going about how I thought it would go. I'm staying fairly busy. I do work a 40-hour week, which helps eat away a lot of my time. I've been doing my best to get out of the apartment after work, so I've been spending a good amount of time with family and friends, which is always great. Eric and I get to text throughout the days, and can sometimes get a short call in at night. Of course, it's not enough to feel fulfilled or make the sting of missing each other disappear, but it helps. There have been a few teary nights at home, but I'm actually holding it together better than I expected. I think being able to text throughout the day helps keep some feeling of normalcy for us. We only have a couple more weeks of that luxury though, so I'm savoring it. By "savoring it", I mean taking screen-shots of all the selfies he sends my way, like the one to the left. Freaking swoon, amirite? Once Eric ships off to Afgan-land, it's only skype and email from there on out. 

As most of my friends and family could tell you, wedding planning is a huge distraction for me. You can often catch me on Style Me Pretty and Pinterest, daydreaming away. I even got addicted to "My Fair Wedding with David Tutera" on Netflix. I know, kind of pathetic. I swear, I was never the girl that spent my life dreaming about my wedding, but now that I'm actually planning it, I'm sure invested! 

I've had a few highlights over the past week, including seeing Book Of Mormon for the second time with my family. I could probably watch that thing over and over, and it wouldn't get old. My ma-in-law, Chris, and brother-in-law, Kevin joined too! Chris made me this awesome bracelet out of paper beads, the paper she used was from the program for Eric's mobilization ceremony. She is so unbelievably thoughtful. Now we both have one :). I didn't get any pictures of the play, of course, but here's some pictures of the family before!

I also was thrilled to be able to go an old friend from high school's wedding. This meant visiting my friends in Seattle! I reunited with some old friends Friday night, and went to Blake's wedding Saturday. I met Blake the first week of school at Skyline High School in Sammamish, which, unfortunately, was the time when I was at about the lowest point in my life. It was the beginning of Junior year and I was so upset to be starting all over in a different state, yet again. I don't know if he remembers, but after a very embarrassing and public nervous breakdown in one of our classes, he made sure to let me know that he was concerned for me, and showed me kindness. I've never forgotten that. Blake is such a kind soul and an impressive man. I'm so glad I was there to witness him marry his love, David.

So, clearly this was a fun night. Also, the wedding itself was so well done, and one of the very best weddings I've been to! It was at such a beautiful venue, had an incredibly touching ceremony, and a very happy reception. What more can you ask for? I am also so thankful to have spent time with so many people that I haven't seen in ages! As I've said before, my time in Seattle was particularly rough, mostly due to stupid teen angst and stuff like that, but I am incredibly lucky to have come out of that experience with some incredible people to call friends. These people were some of the only reasons I got through those two years, whether they know it or not. I'm not as great at keeping in touch with my Seattle friends as I'd like, but I'm sure making it a goal to change that!

Next on the agenda: Mad & Ty's wedding coming up in a few weeks (!!!!), a visit to Atlanta next month, and SEVERAL birthdays in August. Shall we count? Perry Pup (8/1), Mama Chris (8/15), Grandma Bette (8/15), Cousin Nick (8/15), Cousin Justine (8/16), Myself (8/23), Cousin Ellie (8/28), Eric (8/29), and lastly, My dad (8/31). Yeah, our family comes with a lot of August babies. Remind me why we chose to plan an August wedding, again? Other than that, plenty of netflix, comfort food in bed, and pup cuddles. It's all about the small things.

goodbye in austin.

For the 4th of July weekend, I flew down to Austin, TX to join Eric for his last break of the year. I feel so lucky that we were able to have one last chance to soak up each other's time before this deployment really starts. I flew down on Friday morning, and was able to stay for three whole days and three whole nights. Austin is awesome! The nightlife is insane, the city is great, the restaurants are top-notch, and the surroundings are beautiful. Eric's friends from high school came down to join us, so most of the weekend was spent with our group of five, going around and exploring the city. So, here's a little photo purge of what the trip looked like:

Despite the fact that Eric's deployment training has been going since May, the gravity of our situation didn't feel like a reality until yesterday. The anxiety hit around the middle of the day, and grew little by little as the hours passed.

As we spent our last night together laying low and watching "UP", an awful, unshakable feeling overcame me. The realization that we were spending our last night together for an entire ten months hit me, and it hit hard. We've experienced our fair share of separation; a week here, two weeks there, we've even mastered the four week and six week separations. Ten months, though. That kind of time apart is unfathomable to me. Every thought that passed through my brain sounded something like, "this is the last time I'll hold his hand for ten months", and "this is the last time he'll look me in the eyes for ten months". It didn't take long for these thoughts to turn into tears, and for tears to turn into full-fledged sobbing. I'm sure holding me as I cried myself to sleep was not what Eric had in mind for his last night of freedom, but hey, I'm only human.

This morning I awoke to my early alarm, immediately thinking "this is the last time we'll wake up next to each other for ten months". It turns out that sleep didn't help wear the anxiety down much. I had a morning flight, so we didn't have much time to do anything but pack up and get off to the airport.

We arrived to the terminal too soon for for my liking. I have never had such a hard time getting out of a car before. This was partly because I was embarrassed that my mascara that I had only applied a half hour ago was already all over my face. Mostly, though, the thought of starting our time apart was just unbearable. But, after letting our goodbye hug linger a little long, and sneaking some extra goodbye kisses, I walked myself into the airport, and traveled my day away in a state of stunned auto-pilot.

So, here I am, back at our apartment with our dog, knowing this is the first day of a long countdown to our already-overdue reunion. It seems like getting through this next year is too ambitious for the level of enthusiasm I have right now, but then again, it's only day one. Every single day is one step closer, and I don't intend on forgetting that happy fact. I also was reminded of the support we have behind us when a nice lady from the Family Readiness Group happened to randomly call me when I got home to check in on how I'm doing. Is that timing crazy, or what? It's like she knew. Eric and I are so lucky for our situation, because despite how this feels, and despite the upcoming events of this year, we are so well-equipped to get through this and come out stronger than before. We have all the support and love we could ask for from our friends and family, and a whole lot of love and support for each other. I truly couldn't ask for anything more than that.