a response: why 20-something women need to stop reading articles telling them things they need to do.

Ahh, social media. There is something so great, and at the same time, so maddening, about seeing all the things your friends decide to share on a daily basis.

I see a variety of posts on my news feeds; photos of friends at wine tastings, pet videos, general status updates, engagement announcements, graduation photos, political memes, selfies, check-ins at bars, links to various articles, baby photos, new job announcements-- it's pretty much all over the board.

All fine and dandy, right? People sharing the exciting, important, share-worthy things going on in their lives. Lately though, I have noticed a sudden presence of material that, more or less, sends the message of "HOLY CRAP, GUYS. PEOPLE OUR AGE ARE GETTING ENGAGED AND MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS AND THAT IS CRAZY AND SCREW THAT AND HERE IS WHY PEOPLE ARE STUPID FOR DOING THAT AND HERE IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO INSTEAD, YOU FREAKING IDIOT."

I think many of you know what I mean; we've all seen the Facebook status along the lines of: "If I see another picture of a baby on my news feed, I'm going to freak out!". We all watched the "The 5 Most Annoying Facebook Posts About Being Engaged" and "23 Things To Do Instead Of Getting Engaged Before 23" blog posts go viral. Just today, I read the article "Why 20-Something Women Need To Stop Thinking Like 30-Something Women" after seeing several friends posted it.

Feel free to read these for yourself, but if you don't feel like it or don't have the time, I'll roughly paraphrase them for you: Your 20s are for being young, wild, and free, and here is how to be young, wild and free, and you are super lame if you are thinking of things involving marriage and babies. Also, if you are involved in marriage and babies, please, for the love of god, don't put in on your Facebook or Instagram. BUT IF YOU DO, Here's how to definitely not announce it.

Alright, everyone. Let's take a deep breath and calm down.

Here we are in our twenties. This time in our lives looks very different for every one of us. Some of us are college graduates, some of us are high school dropouts. Some of us are married, some of us have never been in a relationship. Some of us are back to living with our parents, some of us have already purchased our first homes. Some of us are in graduate school, some of us are working multiple jobs and going to community college at night. Some of us are making great money, some of us are eye-deep in debt. Some of us are working our dream jobs, some of us are unemployed. Some of us are parents, some of us can barely keep our pet fish alive. Some of us are wise, some of us are scared, some of us are wild, some of us are damaged, some of us are clueless, some of us have direction, some of us are reserved, some of us have life figured out, some of us are completely lost. Most of us are many of these things.

What I'm saying, is that there is no "right way" to live the lives we have, so let's lay off the judgment. If you are in your twenties, and nowhere near getting married, great! Let things fall into place as they may, and don't worry about a timeline. But, at the same time, don't blindly eat up the articles telling you that your twenties should only be about one-night-stands, joining the peace corps, dating multiple people at once, making out with strangers, and most of all, staying away from anything that remotely looks like what is considered to be an adult life.

Now, don't get me wrong. If doing these things is what makes you happy and fulfilled, great! Then do these things and don't apologize for what it is that enhances your life. Just be smarter than the hype. There are a lot of voices out there telling you what you need to be doing, and how old you need to be to do other things. Listen to what serves you and dump the rest. Happiness is not determined by the age at which you hit or don't hit certain milestones. Life is messy, and we're all on this planet just trying to figure out how to live ours in the most successful way we can. I'm pretty sure there's no need to shame or bash others for being on a different timeline than your own, Amirite?

I think I get the intended message that's hidden deep in these articles, which is; don't feel pressured to find someone, fall in love, get married, and have kids just because you're seeing other people your age doing it. This is a message I'm totally on board with. I think "because everyone else is" is about the worst reason in the world to do anything. However, where these articles become counterintuitive is at the point which readers are told what they should be doing instead of "growing up", and at which point it's ok to "grow up" all of a sudden. Maturity comes with life experience, and what you take away from these experiences, not with age. While I'm on the topic, who says thirty is the magic age that it's ok to get married and have kids anyway? I personally know happy people that weren't ready for marriage and/or babies in their thirties, and waited until their forties, and some that never got married or had kids at all. Are they lame too? Are these people doing things all wrong? I don't think so.

Of course this topic particularly strikes a chord with me, because I am the 23-year-old married woman, who, according to these articles, is "blowing it". So I'm here, telling you that getting married, regardless of age, is not a virtual death sentence for fun and adventure. If it is, you're doing it wrong. Believe it or not, I still go out drinking with my friends, I travel, I do my best not to miss any music festivals in my area, and generally lead a very happy and fun life. In all reality, not much about my lifestyle changed with marriage, besides my last name and legal standing. Now, I just happen to do these things with my wonderful husband by my side. My life would not be a suitable one for everyone, but it's a life I'm happy with, proud of, and excited about. That's all that matters. The same goes for every single other person out there, regardless of how they're choosing to live their days.

So, to anyone reading this little blog post, I'm just here telling you to do what makes you happy and healthy, what you feel comfortable doing, and what you think will enhance your life into the best one you can create for yourself. Ignore the expectations society sets for you, and live your life with pride. (cue Kacey Musgraves' "Follow Your Arrow", which is pretty much the theme song of this blog post).