and, so it begins.

It has been 9 days since the event pictured below occurred. With all that has happened since, it feels like it's been a month!

It's been a really fun time. The outpouring of support and excitement from our friends and family has been so heartwarming, and I'm still on cloud 9. Our apartment might as well have been a green house with all the flowers we brought home last week. Even though we dropped off 5 bouquets with our parents, we still had flowers on every surface of our home. It smelled amazing, and everywhere I turned was a sweet reminder of the proposal.

We were also spoiled with some adorable engagement gifts. My mom got us these hilarious little champagne flutes, along with some other wedding stuff. Madison and Tyler gave us the most amazing gift basket (as if they haven't already done enough) and we were able to get in a fancy celebration dinner with them at Oswego Grill. Lastly, the McOmie's took my mom, Eric, and I out to a celebratory dinner at PF Changs. No better way to celebrate than chicken-lettuce wraps and champagne toasts!

Among the excitement, we've had several questions from many people, which definitely comes with the engagement territory. Questions like, "What's the plan now?", "Are you two going to make it legal before he deploys?", "When is the big day?", and "How will this work with Eric being in Afghanistan?". 

I would probably want to know all of the same things. Because of this deployment, Eric and I certainly have a unique engagement situation. First things first; we're planning on having our wedding in the summer of 2015. Eric's deployment is scheduled from May 2014 - May 2015. So, all the planning that Eric wants to be a part of has to occur before he leaves. That gives about 6 weeks to do engagement pictures, visit venues, and make other miscellaneous decisions. Needless to say, it will be a very busy and fun 6 weeks! I'll be doing most of the wedding planning while he's gone, which I am counting on being a major source of positivity during his absence. So far, we've visited two venues, and they were both beautiful. I'm starting to think you can't go wrong with an Oregon wedding, this place is too gorgeous.

How pretty is this? Our first visit started out strong at the Oregon Garden Resort.

We've had a hard time deciding whether or not to be forthcoming about our decision to legally marry before the deployment starts. Personally, I've been worried about potential judgement the decision might bring, and was hesitant to stray away from the picture in my head of what getting married should look like. All things considered, I decided to be transparent about our choice because I really want to accurately depict our experience throughout this deployment. Like I have said before, I hope my experience can somehow become a resource for anyone else that may be in my shoes in the future, and I believe that showing the whole picture will make that more possible.

Having said that, we are indeed making this legal before Eric deploys. That means we will be married for about a year before our wedding. This decision is the right one for us for many reasons, although it was a difficult one to come to. I have always pictured a traditional marriage/wedding process for myself, and had a hard time wrapping my head around the concept of being married without first going through the experience of a wedding. One of my biggest worries was that our choice would cause our friends and family to be less motivated to come to the wedding if they knew we were already legally married. However, knowing our loved ones, I realize that is a silly thought because we are surrounded with so much support and love. To me, our wedding means so much more than a switch in our legal standing, anyway. This wedding will be a celebration of Eric's safe return from deployment, an acknowledgement of the beginning of our life together outside of the military, a chance for our loved ones to come together for a rockin' party, all while experiencing our own version of a dream wedding. When it came down to it, I realized that the legal timing behind everything isn't even that important to me. I was also encouraged after reaching out to several other military couples that chose to do the exact same thing, and came out of it successfully. Believe it or not, it's very common for military couples to legally marry before a deployment, and save the wedding for after the deployment. However, it's not as common for those legal marriages to be out in the open before the wedding.

I know that putting this part of our relationship "out there" is going to invite criticism and generate a lack of understanding of why we are breaking tradition and societal norms. This is to be expected. However, I also know that it's very silly to consider public opinion when making big life decisions, and that there is no need to defend our choices, no matter how unconventional.

As a resource for those who may face a similar decision, I have put together some things to consider. These are the things we thought over before making the decision to marry before the wedding, and I hope they can be helpful for another couple out there.

In no particular order:

• To be truly considered a spouse/partner in the Army's eyes, a couple must be legally married. This means in the off chance something happens to the deployed partner, the Army will grant the spouse access to the situation. 
• One of the hardest things a newlywed couple can do is spend the first year of marriage apart. 
• In my own way, I am aiming to soften this experience by immersing myself in wedding planning during the deployment. Although we'll be legally married, it will feel more like we're an engaged couple that has not yet wed. Being separated for a year is hard regardless of our legal standing, anyway.
• Being legally married provides eligibility for added benefits with healthcare, home loans, and finances. This is big for us, because we are saving for a home to purchase when Eric returns.
• Spouses are the first to know about any changes coming up in deployments (i.e. extensions). This ensures that the inside information on what's really going on is accessible immediately, rather than hearing it through the news.
• Deciding to get married before your first deployment together is very risky. You don't know if you're cut out to be a military spouse until you've experienced a deployment and know what you're signing on for. 
• True. However, it's important to note that this deployment will be our one and only. Eric's contract with the Army is up in November of 2015, a few months after his deployment ends. Because of this, our wedding will also mark the end of our time as a military couple, and our entrance into the veteran/civilian life. 
• Deployments place an extraordinary amount of stress on a relationship, really analyze the reasons you want to get married, and honestly discuss if you feel the process is being rushed. The two links below are great resources to help facilitate this thought process.
• Spouses are able to take care of legal affairs while your partner is deployed and unable to handle them personally. 
• PTSD is a very real thing, and it's very possible for your partner to come back from deployment and be different.
• Although true, this issue goes much deeper than deciding whether or not to get married in the present. In life, circumstances change, and people change, often when you least expect it. When entering into a marriage, it's wise to acknowledge this fact and come up with a game plan on how to get through the tough times, whether those times stem from military issues or not. 
• Spouses are the only people to receive access to deployment counseling, the family readiness group, and other military avenues for support during deployment.

I also have included two links that I found extremely helpful while making the decision. One is here, and the other is here. 

And, so this is life. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes deployment, then comes wedding? 

It's sure not the fairy tale we read while growing up, but life is messy, and this our story. It's a story I'm proud of, and it's one I am thrilled to continue living through as it develops. Very exciting things are ahead.